Sisid!

Malaswa ba ang title ng blog ko? Well, hindi siya malaswa noh! Actually, nakakawtawa nga ang true meaning ng tinutukoy ko na sisid!

Ganito kasi yun, today is 24 February 2008 and its already 12:18 a.m.

Just got home from school, kuno! Ahahaha. . . Actually, hindi naman talaga ako galing directly from school, kasi wala naman kaming pasok kanina. . .

5:00 pa lang, wala pa kaming pasok, so we decided to have a break and kumain muna sa labas. . . Ang original na nasa plan was ako, Prissy, Ate Julie, Ate Lhei, Lloyd, Flyn, Ate Doreen and Jay. . . Then nadagdagan na lang kami dun na mismo sa place na pinuntahan namin. . . Obviously, sa Sadi Baloy ang pinuntahan namin. . .

There, yung iba sa amin, kumain talaga while yung iba naman eh bumili ng isang bucket ng SanMig Lights. . . Nagkasarapan kami ng kuwento and tinamad ng pumasok sa sunod namin na subject. . . Buti na lang at kinausap ni Ate Julie si Atty. Gobot kung may pasok pa kami. . . And pinakiusapan na lang na hindi na pumasok since na wala naman yung first subject namin which is two hours straight from 5:30 to 7:30 pm. . . Yun kay Atty. Gobot is from 7:30 to 8:30 pm. . . Hassle naman kung papasok pa siya di ba. . . So, nung napakiusapan na namin si Atty. Gobot na di na pumasok, mas napasarap ang kuwentuhan namin. . . Humabot sa Sadi baloy sina Pyke and Kuya Milo. . . Then siguro mga 7:00 or 7:30 na ng umalis na sina Ate Doreen, Flyn, Pyke and Prissy. . . Take note ha, sabay na umalis sina Prissy and Pyke! Wohoooooooo. . .

Anyways. . .

Ang naiwan na lang was ako, Ate Julie, Ate Lhei, Jay, Lloyd and Kuya Milo. . . Nung mga 8:30 na siguro, medyo na bored na kami sa place kaya super plano na kami kung saan naman kami sunod na pupunta. . . We finally decided na mag Swimming sa Civic Center. . . Oh di ba, nakairisip mag swimming! Hahahaha. . . Biglaan. . .

OK sa amin yung kaso ang problema lang was wala kaming damit na pampalit! Buti na lang at malapit lang ang boarding house ni Ate Julie kaya pumunta muna kami dun to borrow some shorts that we could wear. . . Well, since na siya naman ang nag suggest na mag swimming kami. . . Ahehehehe. . .

Now, okay na yung shorts namin di ba. . . OK na ang lahat. . . Thats what you think. . . I mean, thats what we think. . . May problema pa pala. . . Pano yung undies namin!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Anu ang susuotin namin pagpauwi? Waaaaaaaaaaa!!! Anu pa magiginibo, edi larga. . . bahala na kung papanuhon ang undies mi! Ahehehe. . .

Then yun, punta kami Civic Center. . . Kaso sarado na. . . Kaya no choice kami kungdi ang humanap ng ibang place. . . Then naisip namin, sa Villa Caceres, puwede paman palan! Ahahahahaha. . . Dinaanan namin si Prissy para magpasama sa Villa Caceres since na member naman sila dun. . . So yun na nga, to make the long story short, sa Villa Caceres kami nag swimming. . .

Langoy dito, langoy duon, mga 11:00 pm na nang mag bihis kami. . . and this is the moment na prinoblema namin ang undies namin na basa! Waaaaaaaaaa. . . ano ang solusyon namin? Ano pa edi ang magbihis ng pantalon na walang suot na brief! Ahahahaha. . . Kaya hayun, umuwi kami nina Lloyd and Kuya Milo na walang suot na brief beneath our pants!!! Buti at gabi so hindi halata. . . kaso medyo nakaka ilang! Ahehehehe. . . ang presko sa pakiramdam! Wahahahaha. . . muntik pa maipit si JUNIOR nung isasara ko na zipper ko! Nyahahaha. . .

Because of this funny incident, we decided to do it again next Saturday. . . and make this a Saturday habbit of the group. . . Then of course, try to invite other classmates to join us. . . the more the merrier di ba. . .

Kaya starting today, hindi lang BEER-OPS ang clan namin. . . nadagdagan pa!

Yesterday was 23 February 2008. . . SISID clan was born!

Ahahahaha. . .

I had enough!

I have enough! Wala na, sukang-suka na ako sa mga isyung hindi mamatay-matay! I remember what Senator Miriam Santiago said during the ZTE Hearing way back last year I think, “Nagaaway-away kayo sa mga kickbacks ninyo!” I mean, come on, balibaliktarin man natin ang mundo, illegal ang kickbacks na pinagaawayan nila! Ginagawa nila tayong mga tanga and katawa-tawa! If they want to be a laughing stock of the globe, then huwag nila tayo idamay!

What I really mean is, ano na naman ba ito, another way to oust the current president and put another corrupt one. Well, halos lahat naman ng mga politko sa Pilipinas kurakot, sana huwag nating i-dahilan lamang kay GMA ang mga ito. Dapat sa lahat. Lahat sila paalisin sa puwesto, iyon kung gusto talaga natin linisin ang bansa na katiwalian. But mind you, I’m neither a Pro-GMA nor Anti-GMA advocate! I’m just stating some facts which I thinks needs to be considered before wagging each others tails!

I don’t belive our politicians, in some of the reports and even in the church (only to the extent of their stand in politics). Lahat sila ay alipin ng pera. Bigyan mo lang sila ng magandang share tahimik na sila. Nasabi ko ito dahil, ilan na ba ang mga katiwalian ng gobyerno na binatikos na isinulat lamang sa buhangin. Simula pa kay Marcos. May nakuha ba kayo (tayo) sa kanila? Kay Aquino? Kay Ramos? Lalo na kay Erap? WALA di ba?! Naisama lamang sa limot ang lahat. Pinalaya pa nga natin si Erap di ba? And because of what? For political stability or some other ill-motives of the president? So ano pa ang silbi ng martsa sa EDSA, yung rally? Wala! Gastos lamang! Pagod! Bakit hindi na lang natin ibigay ang pera naginagastos sa mga rally na iyon sa mga mahihirap kung gusto talaga makatulong ng mga nagmamartsa na iyon? I mean, come on. . . hindi pa ba tayo nadadala sa mga naunang mga rallies?

Well, that’s my opinion. I sorry kung may mga taong hindi sang-ayon sa aking pananaw and you guys are also entitled for your own views and opinions. This is a democratic country. We are allowed to say anything that we want to say for so long as we’re not violating other peoples rights! Waahahaha. . .

But seriously, thinking about my country . . . it sucks. Everyone sucks and that includes me too. It is hopeless . . . at walang pagbabago hanggat hindi tayo tumitino. Alam na nating corrupt ang tao, binoboto pa rin natin. Alam na nating hindi karapat dapat sa puwesto, binoboto pa rin natin! And worse, binebenta pa natin ang boto natin for how much? P100.00 or P500.00 or a bag of groceries? Pera o groceries na puwedeng maubos sa loob ng isa o tatlong araw? Compare the price of your vote to a week, months or even years worth of money that they had been earning from all the kickbacks?!

But in fairness to GMA, at least mejo gumaganda naman ang economy natin. I mean, when it comes to exchange rates and foreign investments. Now, why do we keep on complaining about her administration? Dapat nga, hindi tayo mag reklamo kasi tayo lang naman nag may kasalanan diba? SIge nga, isipin mo kung ano naman ang nagawa ng mga binoto mo noong 2004 and 2007 elections. Aber. May nagawa ba sila? Sigurado ka ba na hindi sila gumawa ng katarantaduhan? Ipupusta ko buhay ko, nakagawa sila. Now, if we really want change, then simulan natin yan sa mga sarili natin. Vote for the right candidate. Choose wisely.

And as to the ZTE Deal Scandal, enough is enough. Tama na nga yan! Let the court decide. If the judiciary can’t do anything about it, then, just like what Justice Isagani Cruz said, let the peoples verdict decide, that is, through a election. That is, kung magiging smart tayo sa pag boto.

ADVISES FROM THE HEART BY THE HEART FOR THE HEART WHO LOVE

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Do not expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart. But if it does not, content that it grows in yours.

There are things you would love to hear that you would never hear from the person whom you would like to hear them from; but do not be so deaf as not to hear it from the one who says it from her heart. Remember that it only takes a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone.

The beginning of love is to let those we love just be themselves and not twist them with our own image. Otherwise we love only our reflection of ourselves we find in them, making the feeling untrue. We might wake up one day that we are just falling in love with the idea of love and just ask ourselves if we are happy with the feeling? The happiest of people do not necessarily have the best of everything. They just make the best out of everything that comes along their way without inflicting emotional pain to anyone. Happiness lies for those who cry; those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have touched their lives.

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how your feel, and in the end, you regret it for as long as we have memories, yesterday remains; as long as we gave hope, tomorrow awaits. As long as we have friendship, each day is never a waste.

There are so many things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind, but keep in mind that letting go, isn’t the end of the world but rather a beginning of a new life. In time, the scar will become pale and shiny and you will have no memory of what cause it. That is the way it is with a wound. The wound begins to lose – in on it, to protect what is hurting so much and once it’s closed, you can no longer see what is underneath that started the pain.

Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling. It should inspire you and give you joy and strength. But sometimes, the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end.

Everything in life has a purpose. There are no mistakes. No coincidence. Events are blessings given to us to learn from it. When God puts a tear in your eyes, it’s because He wants to put a rainbow in your heart. Let the parting be friendly, let the good times be a galley of fond memories. It is best to break all contracts for sometime looking back and feeling sorry are all useless.

If the heart is a place where love comes from, where does it ends? This question shall always remain for we will never know till we fall in love again.

If someone comes to you life and becomes a part of you, but for some reasons she couldn’t stay, don’t cry that much. Just be glad that your path had crossed and somehow she made you happy for a little while. No person is worth crying over, because if they are, they won’t make us cry. Never use your tears for someone who doesn’t love; use it to cry for someone who cares. Don’t ever slam the door; you might want to go back. They left, and so must our feelings for them. Only time can decide as to when we can forget them.

When love is lost. . . relax! It just means that another love is about to take place. . . much greater love than before.

For every heart that finds a heart, there’s a new heart that cries; for every dream that is reborn, there is a dream that dies; for every good hello you say, there is a sad goodbye.

To love is like playing a piano – you learn the rules first, then you forget the rules and play from the heart.

The greatest regret in our lives are the risk we did not take. If you think something will make you happy, go for it. Remember that you pass this way only once. We pass this way only once.

It takes 3 seconds to say “I love you,” another 3 minutes to explain it. Three hours to demonstrate, a trimester to produce it but it takes a lifetime to prove it. Immature love says, “I love you because I need you.” Mature love says, “I need you because I love you.” Its not the matter of finding the right person but it’s the matter of being the right person for the one you chooses to love.

Funny how we set qualifications while we are in the process of finding the person who is the best for us when at the back of our mind, we know that the one we love will always be an exception to the risk. We must not love out of fear. What's more, we must not fear to love. Sometimes, the love we are looking for is right in front of us, too close for the eyes to see. So close your eyes and let your heart see for itself. Don’t ever frown because you never know when someone might fall in love with your smile. Somewhere, there’s someone who dreams your smile and finds in your presence that life is worthwhile. So when you’re lonely, remember that this is true. Somewhere, there’s someone who’s thinking of you.

To give one self is what’s love’s all about, that’s why my head screams and my heart shouts words of love. Soar through the air like eagle on flight without care. That’s why I promise to give you all my love, my life, my body and soul.

Touch my heart and you will feel, listen to my heart and you will hear, look into my heart and you will see that you will always be the special one for me.

As you close your eyes, how I wish I was the first person you’re thinking of so that I’ll be the first one you’ll meet on your dreams and hold me there until you woke up and I’ll be the one you’ll think first. Whatever makes you smile most is what I hope you’ll get today.

You’re not one of the reasons why my life is worth living, not one of the reasons why I’m happy all day long, neither why I feel alone, you’ll never be the one of those reasons because you will always be the only reason.

Don’t cry over things that could have been because the things that could be are far more important.

Its often times hard to forget someone we love because deep inside me us it’s the last thing we would ever want to do. It’s not better to have the person you love right now, but have them later that to be with them now and lose them forever. Never say goodbye when you still want to try. Never give up when you still feel you can take it. Never say you don’t love that person anymore when you can’t let go.

It breaks my heart to see you happy with someone else but it breaks my heart more to see you unhappy with me. There would come a time when we need to stop loving someone not because that person has started hating us but because we found out that they will be happier if we let them go.

A sad thing in life is, you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.

Do me a favor, go outside and find the star that shines so bright and make a wish on it because it might come true. The last time I tried it. . . I met you.

Squall Lionheart

14 February 2008

My Once Perfect Partner

I missed him… it was my choice… I know… and I’m crazy to let it that way. It was perfect. Though most of the time, it wasn’t. But for me it was. It was perfect. Sometimes God’s plans require us to let go of those that we love the most. And in my case, I really have to let him go. He was mine, but he’ll never be forever. It has to end. I made a choice and it means living my life without him by my side.

He was everything to me. He was love. I love him no doubt at all. But loving gives me more pain than I ever thought possible. I guess, this is how love goes. I may have been in love, actually, I was in love, but the pain kills me more. And it’s still killing me now. I was addicted with thoughts of him and it haunts me every night. Just the thought of leaving him would have ushered me to my grave.

I left my heart with him. He owned it before I know. It was beating for him and I breath just to be with him. I dreamt of a perfect love and he was successful enough to make my dreams real. He made everything so perfect that my heart couldn’t almost contain. His voice still echo inside my head. His memories still fog my thoughts. I can’t imagine myself without him. But reality bites. He’s gone and I was the reason why he’s not here. I guess I have to accept the fact that he’s really gone. And I have to admit that it was entirely my fault. I was a total failure. A loser in a game wherein I fought for selfish reasons while he was actually fighting for me.

I never felt his love not until I almost blew it all up. Not until now. I missed him like hell. I miss him and its making me crazy. My mind dictates me to move on but I guess my heart never will. If I could only turn back the hand of time and go back to where it all started. If only I could… if only I could. I ruined it all. I destroyed a perfect dream… a perfect partnership… my partner.

Tears won’t stop. And I chose to let them all… everything to be exact. Life must move on. But I guess, I never will. I just hope he’ll still think of me. But I guess, it’ll be an awkward thing to do. I can’t find the reason why I still hope from something that I know could never be. I’m so stupid to have myself still convicted within the jail of memories. I won’t be able to free myself from the grasp of his being.

I have learned enough. I have learned to love him from what he is and he did the same. No, I need to learn how to get rid of my stupid thoughts. I have to learn to forget and live my incomplete life again. He molded me into who I am and I’ll never get to where I am if not because of him. I owe him everything… I owe it all to him…

He belongs to the past…

And now he’s gone…

I need to live again…

Live a life without him…

A life that ill never be complete again, for he’s not mine anymore…

Trapped…

Chained…

Alone…

Dedicated to my beloved. . . Dog. . . Neo. . .

:D

ANTICIPATING

I wonder how long I still spend time day dreaming… you and me together… just YOU and ME. But how many times do I have to tell myself that you will just be a fantasy forever. A fantasy that is impossible to come true.

I’ve been secretly staring at your beautiful and expressive eyes wishing that at least you’d take a glance at me… but you never did. I was always in the midst of getting your attention yet all of those efforts just turned unto rust. Sometimes, I just choose to pretend that you’re not around even if my pretension hides what I really feel… a feeling of longing for you… to be at your side… to be in your arm...

I hate to hear your voice, its like a creepy sound shouting at me, and I hate even more the sound of your laughter, it just makes my heart cry out. I hate the wholeness of you for its slowly killing me and putting me in vain. But the question is… do I have the right to hate you? Would my hatred matter to you? These questions linger in me every time I start my temporary madness of staring at you.

Promises are really meant to be broken. How many times did I promise that I would cease this foolishness of mine… the foolishness that makes my blood rush from my head to toe with just the sight of you? At the start, you simply became my inspiration. But my heart was broken into pieces when I saw you with someone else. You were happy and smiling. Your eyes had a different spark of bliss that I have never seen before. At that moment, I was in a corner, unnoticed, silently weeping and wishing that I was the one to give that feeling – wishing that I would just shrink and vanish forever.

When will I end this? I don’t know. All I know is that, in spite of all those things you brought me into… you make me complete. Your presence still knocks me down giving excitement and eerie pleasure. I’ll forever be your ghost lover… waiting and anticipating that someday… you’ll share your world with me. Someday.

Squall Lionheart

100 Truths

SIX LASTS:

1. last beverage- Iced Tea
2. last phone call- Jae Ha
3. last instant message- Jae Ha
4. last cd played- the one that I gave to my so-called friends
5. last time you cried- few minutes ago because It’s my birthday and I miss those people that I love who already passed away
6. last text message sent to you says- *Pero dai aram qng wat tym ang laog.*

SIX HAVE YOU EVER:
7. dated someone twice- Yes.
8. been cheated on?- Hmmmmmmm. . . I just don’t know. . . Maybe. . .
9. kissed someone & regretted it?- None, we both liked it! Ahahahaha
10. lost someone special? None.
11. been depressed- Almost everyday
12. been drunk and threw up?- Nope, I don’t drink

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
13.Blue
14.White
15.Pink

THIS MONTH HAVE YOU:
16.Made a new friend – more of acquaintances… hopefully maging friends…
17.Fallen out of love- yeah
18.Laughed until you cried- indeed! :)) lots of times nga eh…
19 .Met someone who changed your life- ₌ )
20. Found out who your true friends were- yeah, just this month
21. Is there something you want to tell someone- yes.
22. Have you kissed anyone on your friend's list- Sikretong malufet
23. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life- mga 70%
24. How many kids do you want to have?- Isa lang. . . Isang dosena!
25. Do you have any pets?- Waaaaaaaaaaaa. . . Miss ko na aso ko!
26. Change your name?- Squall

RANDOMS:
27. what did you do for your last bday?- wept all night long. . . Hopefully I wont cry today! [Its my birthday today]
28. What time did you wake up today?- 5 am. . . I need to attend mass. . .
29. What were you doing at midnight last night?- CHAT
30 .Name something you CANNOT wait for – VACATION
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life?- the fake me?

CURRENTLY:
49. Eating- none yet, kanina Spaghetti with Pizza Bread sa Biggs. . .
50. Drinking- Iced Tea
52. I'm about to- prepare for lunch. . .
53. Listening to- Love me for what I am, my own version by the way.
55. Waiting for- my class.

YOUR FUTURE :
58. Want kids?- of course!
59. Want to get married?- oo naman.
60. Careers in mind?- have an ATTY. Before or Ll. B after my name

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX? :
68. Lips or eyes- eyes. . .
69. Hugs or kisses– hugs but lots of kisses. . . Awooooooooo
70. Shorter or taller- just about my height. . .
72. Romantic or spontaneous- both. . .
73. Nice legs or nice face– I really don’t care
74. Sensitive or loud- no preference
75. Hook-up or relationship- Duh, relationship!
77. Nagger or hesitant- hesitant..

HAVE YOU EVER:
78. Kissed a stranger- nope…
79. Drank liquor- nope...
80. Lost glasses/contacts- I don’t have glasses or contacts
81. Ran away from home- I’ve tried to!
84. Broken someone's heart- it’s the other way around.
85. Been arrested- nope!
86. Turned someone down- yes in the meanest manner….

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself- uhuh!
90. Miracles- a child born is a miracle. Even when you wake up is a miracle.
91.Love at first sight- "Like" is the better word.
92.Heaven- I don’t know.
93.Santa Claus- hindi na ko bata to believe in Santa
94. Kiss on the first date- If it’s the right moment, why not.
95. Angels- angels in disguise.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now?- Isang malaking OO
98. Had more than one girlfriend?- yeah
99 . Do you believe in God?- yes.
100. Posting this as 100 Truths?- but of course!

Squall Lionheart

06 February 2007

Whats with age anyway?

I realized that when I’m being asked about my age, it takes quite a while before I could accurately recall it… really, no kidding! And most of the time, the automatic response is “late 20’s.” I’m stuck! Am I refusing to move on? Or am I just too afraid to accept that I’ve “matured” (ahehehe, it’s a more graceful term for OLD) and still haven’t matched what society typically expects from someone my age.

It saddens me to realize that Christ left the world at age 33 and so did Jose Rizal. It's crazy, but sometimes I even dare think how I pale in comparison to these guys. I haven't even done a 100,000th fraction of what they accomplished! But then again, who says we were born equal? Some guys were meant to matter to the whole world; others barely have enough talent and resources that they could only matter to themselves.

And then there's the classic excuse of “I don't have enough time...” There are so many things I want to accomplish. There are so many paths I want to try out, but alas... I got only one life to live. But even then, I refuse to say that “I don't have enough time!” And each time this excuse tries to creep up in my mind, I would think of something I read many years back...

"Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein."

Anyway, tomorrow is another year added to my age!

Sigh!

Squall Lionheart

05 February 2008

FREEDOM

A father once asked his son, "Where are you going? What are you looking for?" And the son answered, "Father, I am headed for the ends of the earth, for this I am ready to trade my life."

The son is like an other fifteen or sixteen year old. Sooner or kater, we will be asked with the same question. The answer is pretty much obvious. FREEDOM.

But do we really know what freedom is, how to achieve it or where will it lead us?

One may think that freedom is to have the luxury of buying what he wants and to enjoy all the good things in life without worrying about the future.

Another may say that to be free, is to belive whatever pleases him - whether ideological, sociological or religious convistions - and to act on that belief careless to the freedom of others.

Both may express freedom, but they are the kind of freedom that would loose our hope to achieve a peaceful co-existence with our fellowmen. Many of us belive that because we live in a democratic society, we can do everything we want.

As a result of our distorted picture of freedom, we have been dragged into the mudpool of drugs, sex and teenage delinquency. We must deal with these alarming issues with strong conviction through understanding that with freedom comes a great responsibility for oneself and for others. If we achieve this, then, we will know where freedom will lead us - to a future with most responsible, best educated men and women of freedom.

19 January 2003